Although wasps are awful, horrible, evil beings. Who doesn't freak out when they see THIS in their face?
Okay, I think I let one in. Which is almost worse. And it's all the fault of the dumb water balloons (WBs). I needed to get the cooler that we keep on our deck into the kitchen so I could put the filled WBs in there. The cooler lives on the side furthest from the sliding door, so I stepped out, checked for spiders, and snatched it. As I was turning around to go back inside, I noticed a HUGE yellow and black venemous dangly-legged thing veering around right at the top of the open sliding door. I did what anyone would do and let out a gutteral yell with wide eyes and flailing hands while I dove to get inside and whip around to slam the door. Unfortunately, I made the classic mistake of losing sight of the menace, and therefore didn't feel any better by being inside because it could have followed me in. Then I realized that it could have landed on my back, or worse, my hair. I stood paralyzed in the middle of the living room holding the cooler in one hand and trying to peer behind me while moving as little as possible - I was convinced the intruder was waiting for one wrong move before he would sting me to death. After about 45 seconds I realized that I was being silly and I tried to laugh it off...didn't work. I knew the wasp was out to get me. But I decided that if in fact he was stalking me, he wasn't doing anything active at the moment and I needed to start on the WBs.
Remember how fun it was to grab a plump, colorful water balloon and send it hurtling at the closest person? Me too! It was the BEST! Remember how fun it was to fill them up before the battle? ...me neither. I only ever recall having a bucket of pre-made WBs at the ready, and I never thought to wonder where they came from or who toiled to fill them up. Now I know. And I know why WB fights only happen every once in a while.
BECAUSE THE DEVIL HIMSELF MADE WATER BALLOONS SADISTIC AND CRUEL AND IMPOSSIBLE TO FILL.
Let me introduce you to the cast of players:
|The Figure Eight|
|Mr. Right (the verrrrry rare perfect WB)|
|Everything (including me) was SOAKED.|
#4: Be prepared to lose a finger. I am an expert WB tie-er, but after 80 balloons rubbing against the fingies you begin to lose skin.
|Pay particular attention to the orange guy who somehow |
managed to fling himself under the chair. Wtb?