Friday, October 11, 2013

A Baby is Born

I'm not a psycho-all-natural-have-to-have-it-a-certain-way-follow-my-birth-plan-or-else! type of girl, but I did have expectations about how labor and delivery would go especially since I'd already been through it before. I had an awesome experience with Natalie - the induction, epidural, pushing, everything literally went completely perfectly and I enjoyed the entire twelve hours.

not pleased
The twelve hours we spent working on Stockton's L and D, however, went much differently. We didn't get to show up at the hospital until 5AM, ten hours after the original plan. By that point I was pretty ticked - we had been up all night "on call" waiting to hear from the hospital so naturally we didn't get much sleep, and the whole point of getting induced at night was so that we would most likely have the baby while Natalie was still asleep, meaning I could focus solely on labor instead of wondering how she was doing. Plan = thwarted, and I grumbled and grimaced but tried to put on a happy (or at least ready) face by the time we finally got to the hospital.

my view/Austin being Gollum

Things started to get rolling, Pitocin IV, broke my water, Austin had a breakfast sandwich and I had french toast, we read our books, Austin left a couple times to check in on Natalie who was at home with Austin's sister (thanks, Makae!), I chatted with the nurse, started getting more on the uncomfortable side, started getting more on the yiiiikes get me some meds side, and around 12:30 the anesthesiologist came in. He was calm and quiet which suited me just fine - I could hardly speak at this point - but as he started working on the epidural it really HURT. Bad pressure in certain parts of my back/bum, intense pain in the insertion point and around my tailbone, and just an overall uneasiness that things weren't quite right. I didn't say anything though, assuming it was going to be fine and I just needed to relax. He finished and I got settled back down, but relief wasn't coming. I gritted my teeth and was determined to be patient and let the medicine do its job, but it was definitely not working. The contractions were getting worse and worse with hardly a break in between, and my nurse was at lunch so I was on my own...finally we pushed the call button because I couldn't take it anymore and figured something was wrong, but the message didn't get to our nurse for another HALF HOUR. I was practically dying by that point - I sort of just shut down and got panicky because it just hurt SO BAD and I couldn't get my body to relax and I was terrified I would have to be in this much pain while I was giving birth and it was just a mess. I have no idea how anyone does it without medicine. 

The nurse saw that I was clearly not okay and called the anesthesiologist back, who checked out the epidural line and said that it wasn't even dripping any meds in and he was going to have to redo the whole thing. I was still struggling to get through each contraction (now I understand the whole gripping-your-husband's-hand thing - I depended on that!) and now I was worried about going through another really painful epidural process. Everything worked out fine this time, however, and I felt like the relaxing of my muscles and mind after the medicine kicked in was tangible. It worked like a sedative and after the ordeal of the past few hours I was more than happy to just take a nap.

BUT, I was almost ready to deliver, at least dilation-wise, so I didn't have much time to rest. I was not pleased about the whole situation because now I felt super drugged and weak and lame, and I was honestly worried I wouldn't be able to push the baby out. Luckily, my doctor was at another hospital delivering another baby, so I was able to say I wanted to wait for her and rest a little longer. THANK GOODNESS, because I was a hot mess.
blurry, but I love how this captures his excitement : ) 
notice the star wars shirt, in honor of Luke
I won't get into the grisly details, but pushing was hard because I couldn't really feel my lower body and didn't know how effective I was being, plus I was already done mentally and I had hardly any energy left. It was frustrating, discouraging, and scary. Then things started to progress better and sure enough, at 5:28PM out came a baby! OUR baby, our beautiful, perfect, huge son! 9 pounds 7 wonder I thought pushing was hard.

Labor and delivery were not what I planned or expected, nor what I would wish for next time or what I experienced with Natalie, but as soon as Stockton was born everything was groovy and it's been that way ever since. I'm grateful for my nurses and Jenna, my doctor, and of course, my perfect husband who was there for me the entire time. He's the best! (And thanks to those who took care of Natalie...she was in good hands.)

I'm looking forward to a nice break before I have to do all this again : )

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