Monday, August 4, 2014

Is That a Good Choice?

It's about to get personal. More personal than normal, I should say.

I'm tired of being overweight. I'm tired of adjusting my shirts to try to feel less pudgy, tired of not taking clothes out of my pre-pregnancy box. Tired of seeing other fit moms and not feeling like one. TIRED, you guys!

I've sort of half-heartedly tried different things - joined a gym, cancelled the gym; signed up for a 10-week boot camp, skipped two weeks; bought new running shoes, signed up for a half marathon, haven't run very much; bought healthy food, let it go bad, or ate it and then ate the junk I crave. I talk to my family about losing weight every time I see them, and guess what: I haven't lost anything.

I want to wake up and be fifty pounds lighter. I want to tell my pre-pregnancy self to work out and eat better. I want results but I haven't been willing to put in the effort.

SORRY that it's hard, Self. SORRY that you didn't take care of yourself when you were pregnant. SORRY you want to eat ice cream and drown in coke. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

When Natalie is getting into something she shouldn't, or climbing, or dumping her milk out, etc, instead of automatically saying "NO" I say, "Natalie, is that a good choice? Can you make a good choice?" And it usually works - she thinks about it and decides that no, it's not a good choice, and 9 times out of 10 she moves on. I am glad that instead of me just barking at her to stop doing something, she gets to use her own agency (sort of) and choose not to.

I need someone following me around - "Jessie, is that a good choice?" When I'm driving and want to stop at the McDonald's for a $1.07 Coke, when I make cookies or buy ice cream, when I sleep in instead of working out. "Is that a good choice?" No, it's not. And even though I have bad habits and bad self-control, I still have the choice. I can make good choices, even if they are harder and not as fun.

Yes, I'd prefer mac and cheese to grilled chicken. Yes, I want to go to a pizza buffet. Yes, I can eat an entire bag of flamin' hot cheetos. Yes, yes yes yes! But noooo. I'm tired of complaining about my body, I'm sick of feeling depressed when clothes don't fit right and I'm not satisfied in the mirror. Some people can be happy with whatever size they are, and I am a happy person, but I would be dishonest if I said that my weight didn't bother me.

SO! I need your help. What I've been trying to do privately isn't working. I need to swallow my pride and have some accountability, I need people asking me about my progress, I need encouragement! I need upbeat talks, not the discouraging "I wish" statements that I've plagued myself with for the past year. Want to get together? Let's go for a walk! Want to grab lunch? Let's make a chicken dish at home. I can't make excuses anymore, can't justify my habits. ("The kids have been difficult today, I deserve that soda." "I didn't sleep well last night, I should relax instead of working out.)

I want to feel good about myself, and I'm ready. So, Self, repeat after me: Is that a good choice? 

(any advice or encouragement is always welcome!)

6 comments:

  1. Realize that if you truly want something like this...it has to start NOW. Not next week, not tomorrow, right NOW.

    I wrote a wall of text but I didn't log into my google account so my words all evaporated, but here are he main points:

    1. Drink water, and lots of it. Whenever you're hungry, drink water. Right before you eat your meal, down a glass of water. I think it's like 8 cups a day is the recommended standard.

    2. Putting a little bit of science to it is important. Calories In - Calories Out must be in the negatives in order to lose weight. Start to pay attention to which foods are calorie dense and which are not. A huge plate full of vegetables can EASILY equal a few cookies. You'd be surprised at which foods are crazy calorie dense.

    3. It's not going to happen overnight. Healthy weight loss can take up to months.

    4. Commit, and stay disciplined, and let the people around you hold you accountable.

    5. Exercising certainly does help, but weight is gained and lost in the kitchen. Just be sure whatever energy you exerted in the gym doesn't quickly be undone by eating more, because that just cancels out your weight loss.

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  2. You go Jessie! It is so hard to lose weight especially after a pregnancy! I have to say I had some help from Siena's allergies but it is still so hard and for me, a sacrificial diet. It's a different struggle but still it's about making good choices. Siena is allergic to nuts, eggs, soy, corn, dairy and wheat. If I want ice cream (which SOOO many days, I do) or a sandwich with normal bread, I see the consequences when Siena breaks out in itchy rashes all over her body. As a result of having such a restricted diet, I've lost all my baby weight but it was so hard and I still struggle with discipline.
    I would highly suggest trying to limit or cut out your dairy and wheat intake because (at least for me) that's what makes me get super bloated and feel lazier. If I was in Lincoln, I would totally go on walks and help you out but know that I'm here with you in solidarity in a big change with lifestyle and diet :) good luck and I can't wait to hear how it goes!

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  3. You're awesome and you can do it! And I love your parenting method. I'm going to have to remember that for when my baby girl gets bigger :)

    Drinking water is an awesome first step! Your stomach detects fullness by stretch (quantity) not by the number of calories in it, so drinking a tall glass of water 10 minutes before a meal, or in between meals instead of snacks, will help curb your appetite a bit in addition to keeping you healthy! Also, 3500 calories is 1 pound, so just 100 calories a day is 10 pounds a year. Gaining or losing. If the only thing you do is substitute just 1 coke a day for water, your future self just dropped at least 10 pounds :) You can do this!

    I'm guessing you've heard of SMART goals? Specific, Measurable, Accountable, Realistic, Tangible/Time-based. It's the way to go!

    I'm a stress-eater and my current health habits are deplorable - although I do have a degree in Exercise Science and I was even a personal trainer for a little while, so I know better. If you want a goal-setting/accountability buddy I am so in!

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  4. You've got this. You can totally do it. It takes time, unfortunately lots of time. If it's overwhelming to focus on changing how you eat and to exercise then I'd say focus on one of them . I knew I couldn't conquer the sugar yet so I started with exercise. Just an idea.

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  5. Jessie! I'm so glad we are blog buddies. You are awesome and you have so got this! It has been almost a year since I started blogging about losing weight. I wish I could say that I were closer to my goal of 70 lbs down by that year mark, but I am close to 50 and that's pretty amazing! Don't let little defeats make you forget your progress. Even just 1 lb a week adds up fast. I have found that when I lose weight slow and steady it doesn't come back as quickly as I might imagine. Your body is designed to maintain a healthy weight and it will if you help it out a little!

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  6. I SO wish we were neighbors. Apparently I'm your third twin. I guess that would make me a triplet, but clearly, we own the same brain. You are at least 20 years ahead of me girl. It happened to me after my third pregnancy and I've been wishin' and hopin' and dreamin' for 23 years. I am SO with you. Love you!

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