Thursday, October 22, 2015

Banana Chair Man

WARNING: THIS IS AN AUSTIN POST. PROCEED WITH CAUTION

I have a good friend who suffers from an extremely rare condition. His condition has made it hard for him to live a normal life. As a result of his condition, he only has one arm, which makes it very hard to participate in normal, everyday activities like clapping, juggling, and cutting a steak. Another result of his condition is that he has no legs, which makes it very hard for him to wear shoes, get pedicures, and kick soccer balls.

In spite of this obviously debilitating condition, my friend has made every attempt to live life to its fullest. He has spoken in General Conference, wielded lightsabers of all colors, and even gone head-to-head with the most powerful dark wizard of all time. He is truly an inspiration to all who know him.

And without further ado, I introduce you to my dearest friend, Banana Chair Man:

One of Banana Chair Man's earliest adventures. I think Darth went easy on him. He was surprisingly empathetic of Banana Chair Man's condition. I guess it's probably because he knows what it's like to lose limbs and stuff.
Anakin let Banana Chair Man borrow the podracer for an evening of revelry on Tatooine. I tried to explain to him that Anakin and Darth Vader are the same person, but he wouldn't believe me till we watched Revenge of the Sith.
I'm still not entirely sure how he pulled this one off, but Banana Chair Man managed to reenact both parts in the famous Kenobi-Skywalker duel.
So Banana Chair Man started out as a pure Star Wars fan, but his interests eventually diversified. He is now a huge fan of Harry Potter, as well.

Here he is saving Banana Ginny from the Basilisk. Fawkes the Phoenix helped out a little bit, but only after Banana Chair Man proved his allegiance to Dumbledore.
And in this one he's saving Sirius Black from the dementors. Funnily enough, his corporeal patronus is also a Banana Chair Man!
As I alluded to above, Banana Chair Man has even battled He-who-must-not-be-named himself, and lived to tell the tale.
Other things Banana Chair Man has been up to lately:

He got an extreme close-up at the last Husker home game!
We played hide and seek recently, and I didn't find him for three days!
I actually might never have found him, but this huge freaky dude tried to eat him! I barely saved him in time.
His General Conference address put one of the apostles to sleep, apparently. I thought it was rather engaging.

Anyways, as you can see, Banana Chair Man has overcome countless obstacles throughout the course of his life, and has managed, with his one arm and no legs, to live a fuller and more fulfilling life than anyone I know.

So, Banana Chair Man, if you're reading this, I tip my hat to you. You have inspired me to live my dreams. I owe you a debt that I can never hope to repay.

Thank you.

(If anyone is interested in following more of Banana Chair Man's exploits, check out my Facebook Page! He is usually featured in my cover photos.)

(Also, if you are interested in raising public awareness about Banana Chair Man's rare condition, please share this blog on as many social media platforms as you can. Help me spread the Word!)


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