It's been a week. I have felt anxious for a few days and that's not a feeling I'm super familiar with. There are lots of contributing factors but mostly my anxiety stems from hard situations of people close to me that I have no control over. Those are their stories to tell, but they've been affecting me and I've felt sensitive and emotional and...well, anxious. It's hard not being able to really help. It's hard seeing bad things happen to good people. It's hard being a bystander and wanting to offer support but not really knowing how (or how much good it would do anyway). A dear family in our ward is struggling with some very serious health issues and my heart is breaking for them, and my brother got a bit of bad news that has abruptly shifted his future school plans (which he heard about while on a cruise in Jamaica, talk about bad timing!). I have felt sucked up in the never-ending vortex of housework and bills and callings and child-rearing, and I haven't felt very successful at any of my endeavors this week. Plus I went shopping for a shirt for family pictures and couldn't find one dang piece of mustard yellow clothing. (I know it's spring but come ON! Would putting out ONE yellow cardigan be that hard?!) Plus I've been eating super crappy. Plus I listened to the song "Slipping Through My Fingers" and cried because I'm worried I'm not being a good enough mom. Plus plus plus......Plus I pulled up to ACT clinic to pick Stockton up and a funeral was just getting out, so I felt bad about my own lesser problems knowing these people had just lost someone.
As I sat in the parking lot watching the funeral procession leave the building (ACT clinic is in a repurposed church) I checked my email and saw that I got my "Daily Messages" email. It's something I signed up for months ago from lds.org that sends me a quote from General Conference or a scripture or some sort of uplifting Gospel thought. It's wonderful and short and I highly recommend it. The Daily Message today was Doctrine and Covenants 68:6 "Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you." I seriously laughed out loud - it was such a classic the-Lord-is-watching-out-for-me moment and I was grateful and touched and felt better at the reminder to be of good cheer! The Lord is with us! We don't have to fear! I know that nothing happens that He is not aware of and that He is ready to help and rescue and support and love us in our most trying times.