This is one of my favorite pictures of Natalie. 10 months old in Salt Lake with the fluffiest Kitty on our morning walk down Devonshire. It's hard to remember life with just her - probably because it was only 6 months of pure HER before I found out I was pregnant with Stockton. It feels like I've always had three kids - they're close in age and close in spirit and they'll never know life without each other, which I think is amazing.
...aaaaand super exhausting. Exhausting from the guilt (am I doing enough), exhausting from the middle of the night interruptions (Natalie almost always wakes me up to tell me she's going pee and could I please put her back in bed) and early wakeup calls (it's a miracle if our kids sleep past 6:30 most mornings). Exhausting when I need a break but they follow me wherever I go (see above picture when I was trying to "hide"), exhausting when I feel like I can't meet my own social, physical, and mental needs because I'm juggling and managing all of theirs, and then exhausting again when the guilt kicks in. Exhausting when I don't want to complain yet again to my trusted friends but also feel like I'll go crazy if I don't vent.
My children LOVE me, and I know it and feel it every day, but sometimes that love is exhausting! And sometimes it's exhausting to feel such a powerful love for them but also reminisce about the Jessie before kids.
I love the appreciation I feel from my family on the daily and I need to stop living in the past and future and truly enjoy the present. I asked Austin to give me a Priesthood blessing the other day and one of the things he was inspired to say was that I need to learn to be more content in my daily life and current circumstances, and that's exactly right.
|my Mother's Day present from Natalie (or rather Miss Kaycee, haha)|
|Stockton coming over to be cozy with me|
|finding them like this (by choice!)|
Austin spending time with his lookalike and telling me how much he loves being a dad
cloud gazing with my beautiful daughter (we found a Basilisk)
watching their pure joy as I let them loose // holding hands!
|snacktime bubbly milk and watermelon giggles (Stockton could literally live off of watermelon)|
|Jack calls this his "cake" of binks haha|
Watching my children be pals - I imagine it will always be wonderful to witness
catching the boys reading
the joys of a fitted sheet - this kept them entertained FOREVER one afternoon haha
|she was really adamant about this picture being taken|
(notice the 4-year-old considerably less fluffy Kitty)